Thursday, August 14, 2014


Check. Me. Out. See the maybe-cancer scariness on my face? No? Can't see it? Well that's because it's practically totally gone. Uh huh. Gone. Everyone who said it was just a hair zit is a genius. 


I guess Dutch has been feeling kinda lonely without his Fridays so I promised to let him tell you why we've been gone and what you've missed (hint: not much). Even though this is *my* blog. Because I'm happy to be c-word free. And I'm just nice like that. 

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Friday, August 1, 2014


So, I went to the vet. We had a staring contest and he poked at my face, but only with his fingers. Then he and my human talked for awhile.

VET: blah blah blah something about a hair follicle blah blah something about pugs and lumps
HUMAN: blah blah blah something about pugs and lumps
VET: blah blah blah TUMOR blah blah CANCER blah blah
HUMAN: (silent)
VET: blah blah TUMOR blah blah blah NEEDLE blah blah CANCER
HUMAN: (silent) 

There was some other stuff too, but once I heard the C-word I kinda only listened to the parts about that. 

When the vet was done talking, my human had to pick between letting the him stab me in the face with a needle to look for cancer -or- treating my lump like it's an angry hair follicle for a week, and then stabbing me in the face if it doesn't get better. 

I guess because of all the stuff I didn't really listen to, they decided to go with the follicle. So for the next week I have to take drugs and let my human practically suffocate me with a hot wet towel three times a day. Both of these things are waaaay better than getting stabbed in the face *and* I'm getting loads of sympathy cookies.

Cancer = bad bad bad! Hair follicle = cookies!

Thursday, July 31, 2014


I'm not sure what happened to yesterday. Some human stuff, I guess. I'm kinda starting to think I should have two, maybe even three, humans in case my main human isn't around to lend me some thumbs. If anyone has an extra human they don't need, let me know.

So, can we please talk about my face? Not the cute parts, I mean the thing growing under my nose. It looks waaay worse in 3D - it's about the size of a pea. And growing

My human stabbed me in the face a few times trying to pop the pea, but it didn't work. If whatever the heck it is doesn't go away by 4:00 tomorrow, I have to let the vet poke at it. 

I'm sure it's not serious or anything, so don't waste any juju. But I'm still not happy about people trying to pop my face. 

Friday, July 25, 2014

DUTCH FRIDAY: the stray (almost a poem)

It was pink
with a flowery toe.

There was only one 
and it was too small.