Monday, October 29, 2012


We barely made it off the Eat Coast before hurricane Sandy stopped all the planes from flying. I guess Sandy is too big for airplanes too. It took us pretty much forever to get here, but we're back on the right coast again. Left coast? Uhm, regular coast?

Whatever. We're home. And a whole bunch of REALLY loud to people partied in the streets last night to celebrate. Think I even heard something about a parade. How cool is that? Seriously. I had no idea San Francisco missed me so much.

Anyway. Even though we're back on the right/left/regular coast, we're still on Eat Coast time and suuuper tired. Thanks to the airplane and noisy party people, we all need a big fat mega-nap. Please wake me up in time for my parade. I think it's on Wednesday.

If you're on the Eat Coast, don't mess with Huge Sandy. If they tell you to leave your house, go! If they tell you to stay inside, stay! Be careful and stay safe. I'll dream lots of good and dry thoughts for you.

PS: someone's dumb thumbs didn't push the publish button so you missed like two whole days of me last week. It's there now if you missed me :)

Friday, October 26, 2012


Well, I'm not sure exactly how much a-little-bit-fat weighs. But according to the stupid scale at cousin Sophie's PetSmart  (and my human), I am officially F-A-T.

And that's after peeing/pooping, without a leash or collar. Yeah. I don't even want to think about what Detecto might have said if I hadn't spent an entire day fetching my butt off.

Right now I'm trying to convince my human that Eat Coast scales are not the same as our scales back home and cannot be trusted. Not sure she's buying it though. She's still feeding me, but it's been nothing but dog food and carrots since the Whoopie Pie.

This is not the time for carrots. I might never set paw on the Eat Coast again and definitely can't leave with an empty stomach...

Thursday, October 25, 2012


Sorry I missed you yesterday, but I was superbusy trying to get a little less fat before my butt ends up on a scale and I never get to eat again.

So I fetched...

And fetched...

And fetched some more.

I fetched until there wasn't any fetch left in me. I'm not sure if I'm any less fat, but I am definitely more tired. Please cross your paws for good news from the Eat Coast scales.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012


I'm feeling waaaaay better now that my Whoopie Pie has... uh... left the building. But even though I don't have any Whoopie left in me, my human says I'm looking a little bit fat. Yeah. That's what she said: a little bit fat.

I guess being a little bit fat is is better than being a lot fat, so I was kinda OK with this... until I heard the humans talking about taking a trip to PetSmart tomorrow. Because you know what a trip to PetSmart means.

ME: hey, do the PetSmarts on your coast have scales?
SOPHIE: you mean the thing that says I am 16 petite little pounds?
ME: yeah, that thing.
SOPHIE: then yes, we have the scales. But it won't say you are 16 petite little pounds.

I don't think I've ever been petite, little or 16 pounds. But I do know if I don't lose some of my little-bit-fatness ASAP, I might never eat again. Like, anything. Ever. So today I ran my butt off chasing birds on the beach and think I might have lost some fatness. Tomorrow morning I'm supposed to teach Sophie how to swim and guess I could lose maybe some more fatness doing that?

If anyone has any other fatness-losing ideas, please please please let me know.

The scale is coming!

Monday, October 22, 2012


If you're ever lucky enough to get your lips around a Whoope Pie, you should maybe take smaller bites than I did. Because when you eat something the size of your head in three giant bites, and that something has the word 'pie' in it, you might feel a little, uhm, not-so-awesome. At least that's what happened when I inhaled my Whoopie. Whuuuuuupie.

Friday, October 19, 2012


I was more than a little unhappy with my human for not bringing me back squat from Canada. So of course I'd be way more than mad if she came back from Philadelphia without an eatable, right?


So did she bring me a cheesesteak? Some scrapple? A freaking pretzel? No. Because I guess my human didn't want to sit in the car for 2 hours with a stinky cheesesteak and didn't want to smell me with a belly full of SPAM's cousin. I forget what the pretzel did wrong.

Whatever. I think these are all pretty lame reasons not to bring your favorite pug an eatable. And I totally was seriously thinking about going poodle when she pulled out a bag from a place called Flying Monkey Bakery and said the magic word: breakfast. 

I didn't even ask what was in the bag -- you know anything from a place called Flying Monkey is going to be ridiculously good. I just went to sleep and waited for breakfast. And when breakfast didn't come soon enough, I woke everyone up early. Like, before the sun early.

Uhm, yeah. A bag from Flying Monkey Bakery is totally worth waking up in the dark for. Because inside my bag was this thing called a Whoopie Pie. Uh huh. Say it with me:

Whoooopie Pie!

I'm not 100% sure what a Whoopie Pie even is, but Google says they're like eating the best parts of a cupcake. I'm pretty sure mine tasted like pumpkin pie on the outside and had ice creamy-ish stuff in the middle. Whatever they are, Whoopie Pies are ridiculously tasty. So tasty I ate the whole ginormous thing in three bites. 


Thursday, October 18, 2012

Wednesday, October 17, 2012


My human (and her thumbs and I guess Kim) just got home and are already abandoning me.
I guess she has a pug to shoot in some place called Philly or something? No idea. All I know is she better bring me back some sort of Philly eatable because I got NOTHING from Canada.

That's right. NOTHING.

I guess she tried to bring me Tim Horton but the customs or security or whoever said Tim wasn't allowed to cross the border. Not sure why she thought I'd want some Canadian dude anyway. I mean, we all know I just want some eatables.

Anyway. Since I don't have thumbs, here's what Driod says about Canada:



BIG GIANT BAGELS (aka Twisters)
AND FLAT BAGELS (aka Flagels)
CANADA CAN BE COLD (and something called Metric)


Tuesday, October 16, 2012



By the time you read this, my human will be home. Not home-home like San Francisco - that would kinda suck because I'm still in New Jersey. I mean home-home like back from Canada and at my cousin Sophie's in New Jersey. With me. Where she belongs. 

Uh, sorry Dutch.

I'm still superbummed I didn't get to go to Canada, but I heard everyone took VERY good care of my human while she was there. Extra hugs with bacon on top to Larry for just being awesome, Joann for bringing sunshine and to Beulah's & Paco's mom and for making sure my human (and I guess Kim) had water to drink and plenty of tasty Canadian bagels. Not just any bagels either. Ottowa and Montreal-style bagels. Whatever that means. 

Anyway. I'm pretty sure my human/Kim probably ate all the bagels so I asked Google what special Canadian eatables might be coming my way. Looks like Canada bacon, some dude named Tim Horton and maple stuff might be on the menu. I have no idea what Tim Horton tastes like, but we all know maple and bacon are definitely tasty. 

I'll let you know all about Canada & its eatables when my human, her gimpy brain (and I guess Kim) wake up!

Thursday, October 11, 2012


By the time you read this, my human (and I guess Kim) will be on a plane to Canada. Without me. And you know why? Because I am too big to fit on the freaking plane.


I know I'm kinda tubey from eating bagels and fudge and donuts and Ben's pizza. But too tubey to fit on a plane? Seriously? That's what my human says. I've heard her talk about how huge Kim is, but I'm pretty sure Kim gets to go to Canada.

I guess there was some sort of drama when we flew from Boston to NJ about the plane not being big enough for me *and* Nikon. The plane dude said my human had to hand one of us over but my human said no way. Plane dude said yes way, but my human must have talked him out of it because no one got handed over.

I was too busy saying hi to the people on the plane to notice any drama, but the plane was kinda small.
Since my human hates drama, spotted Miley's mom checked to see if the plane to Canada is big enough everyone. But I guess it's just as small as the Boston plane was so I'll be hanging out in NJ, getting humped by my cousin Sophie.

Canada pugs: please take good care of my human. She's not used to being pugless. If there are any tasty Canadian eatables I should know about, please let her know what they are!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012


Even though NJ has the best jelly donuts on the planet, I didn't exactly get to eat one. I guess I don't like jelly, or at least that's what my human says. I think I like pretty much anything. But she asked the donut lady to give us something not-jelly so I didn't get any jelly.

But I did get cream.

Holy cowpies, cream donuts are ridiculously tasty. And they're like two eatables in one - three if you count the white stuff on the outside. I don't know what that white stuff is, but it's superyummy and totally messy.

I don't know about your human, but mine is not a fan of messes. One bite and my donut was gone. Yeah. G-O-N-E, gone.


I kinda freaked out when my human took my donut away after one bite. I mean, California doesn't have the planet's best donuts - New Jersey does. This could be my one and only chance to eat a cream donut. Besides, I'm so freaking tubey right now I might not even get carrots once we're home. 

Luckily the donut-removal was temporary. My human gave it back to me a few minutes later out in the yard. She said I could make as much mess as I wanted there and I totally did. First I snarfed down the donut, then I went back for the cream. I even ate the paper thing the donut was wrapped in, it smelled so good. 


It all happened so fast, even Nikon couldn't catch any of the action. I suggested we get me a second donut so we could take better pictures. I even promised to eat it in slow motion, but my human didn't buy it. She says one donut is already one too many for a big fat pug. I say if one donut is never too many. Even if it's bigger than your head.


Tuesday, October 9, 2012


Sorry donuts, but my NY pizza was so freaking awesome it deserves a whole entire post. Especially since I spent most of my day in NY trapped in the pug zoo. Getting humped. In the rain. But more on that later. Right now I want to talk pizza.

The plan was to eat pizza at some dude named Ray's place before heading back home to NJ. That was before the humans were cold and wet and tired. I guess cold wet tired humans don't care whose pizza they eat, so on the way back to the car we stopped at some dude named Ben's instead. 

Ben is very cool. When he saw my human taking pictures, he supermodeled with a pizza. And when my human ordered me a slice of plain cheese pizza, Ben gave me a supertasty meaty thing called a pepperoni. Dogs like the pepperoni, Ben said. He was so right.


The humans got to snarf their pizza down right their at Ben's, but I had to wait until we got back to NJ. Do you know how far NJ is from Ben's?? An eternity. Luckily cold NY pizza is still ridiculously tasty or we'd have to go back and get some more. 

My human says I'm getting uber-tubey so I only got half a slice of Ben's for dinner. Half a slice of Ben's is still bigger than my head, so I guess that's ok. The Eat Coast has so much tastiness, I don't want to get stuck eating carrots for the rest of our trip. Besides, Sophie says the Petsmart here has a scale and I don't want to break it. 


Monday, October 8, 2012


All sorts of stuff happened over the weekend. But I said we'd have fudge, so today we have fudge. And not just any fudge -- this is pug fudge. Well, I guess it's really for humans. But when you have a human who doesn't like fudge and feels kinda guilty about giving away your treats to 999 other pugs, all fudge is pug fudge.

Especially if the fudge has bacon in it. Yep. You heard me. Baaaaacon!

MY HUMAN: Can I have a sample of anything that isn't chocolate? It's for my pug.
NICE FUDGE LADY: Of course! What flavor do you think he'd like?
MY HUMAN: Uhm, he eats poop and rocks. Anything is perfect. 
NICE FUDGE LADY: Well, we have maple-walnut. Do you think he'd like that?
MY HUMAN: Definitely. He had a maple-bacon donut once and loved it.
NICE FUDGE LADY: Oh, we have bacon-maple too!
MY HUMAN: Seriously?

Seriously. I mean, who wouldn't like baconator fudge?? 

I don't exactly know what fudge is, but I do know it's supertasty. At least the bacon kind is, I haven't tasted any other flavors. Kinda hard to explain, but it's like peanut butter that doesn't stick to your snout. Except it tastes like, uhm, fudge. If you want to try some, you can order it from the Nice Fudge Lady's website

I'm kinda in a food mood, so tomorrow we'll have real live NY pizza... and this:


Friday, October 5, 2012


I know I said we'd be talking fudge today. But my human said it'd be nicer for me to introduce everyone to cousin Sophie instead. Y'know like, officially. Since she'll be sharing her house and toys and everything else with me for the next few weeks.

So, this is Sophie:

She's pretty cool. Kinda reminds me of my friend Tiffy except Sophie's bigger and barks more. She's not exactly Frank or Bellatrix, but for a non-boy, non-hermaphrodite she's pretty fun to play with. Her human said I'm the only dog Sophie has ever played with because she grew up in a puppy factory and doesn't really know what play is. For a non-player, she's pretty awesome.

Even though Sophie's human taught my human how to use Nikon, Sophie isn't exactly the planet's best supermodel. At least she wasn't until I showed her some moves.  My human refuses to touch Nikon in between Other 999 shoots, but Sophie totally worked it for Droid:

We're on our way to a pug shoot now so I kinda need to give my human back her thumbs. Stay tuned for fuuuuuuudge. Oh, and donuts that aren't full of jelly.

That's right. Donuts. 

Thursday, October 4, 2012


Ok, so I guess we said goodbye to Boston a few days ago. But my human is a little slow and I've been kinda busy checking out NJ so let's just pretend I'm still there. But before I tell you about Boston, I have to say mucho thank you to everyone for being so awesome. My human will leak and float away if we read all the comments now, but Miley's mom has been filling us in and we printed them all out for the plane ride back to San Francisco.

THANK YOU (with bacon on top).

So. Boston was -- I mean, *is* awesome. Everyone is super nice. Suuuuper nice. And the bagels? Suuuupertasty. I could totally live in Boston.

We landed really early in the morning the day before pug-shooting started so my human took me on a tour of Boston. At least she tried to take me on a tour, but we didn't get very far.  the entire city of Boston is different than it was in 1995 or she just doesn't remember any of it.

Here's where my human used to live. Maybe. There was a sign out front that said "Fischer College" and my human says the only school she ever lived in was called Boston University. No idea. But I posed with the Fischer people's plant anyway, just in case there was a cookie in it for me.

After visiting the place where my human maybe-lived, we went to a big park called the Public Garden. It's full of big fat squirrels that are sooooo freaking slow I almost caught one (ok, more like five) before my human got mad and made me stop.

The garden also has a bunch of giant evil white birds called swans. I won't tell you about them now because I'm thinking maybe if I don't talk about the swans my human will forget what happened. Uhm, maybe later.

After the squirrels, the bagels, the tour and the swans... we slept. Well, first we almost drove to some place called Cape Cod by mistake because the GPS died and my human was half asleep... but after almost going to Cade Cod, we slept. Then the pug-shooting started. So did the rain. And the insane traffic.


 Anyway. I got to hang out at the shoots on some of the days and that was supercool. Saturday I hung at the park with everyone (thanks to Tessie, Frankie & Buddha's humans!!) and Sunday I vacationed in a place called Newburyport with Otis & Lola and their humans. I also played with all their toys, ate scrambled eggs and a bunch of other stuff - but don't tell my human about the eatables. She thinks I'm getting fat again.

We took a very small plane from Boston to NJ and now we are here. I'm staying with my cousin Sophie, eating bagels and trying to stay dry. Yesterday we scouted locations and napped. 

This is what New Jersey looks like in the rain:


And this is what I will tell you about tomorrow: