WANTED: ALIBI

Ok. There isn't much about sleeping on the floor that I like, but I did figure out one good thing about it: I can do things in the middle of the night without waking up my human. Snoring is one of those things. Sneaking outside to forage for snacks is another.

And by snacks, I mean poop. Secret poop. Hidden poop. Poop I stash in the bushes so my human won't see it and take it away.

For the past few nights I've been sneaking outside in the middle of the night to snack on my poo-stash and my human hasn't had a clue. Not. A. Clue. Until this morning when we ran into our downstairs neighbor and he totally narcked me out!

Yeah.

Neighbor dude likes to sneak outside in the middle of the night to smoke, so on my way to the bushes I'd see him on the stairs and stop to say hi. And today he goes and tells human that I've been hanging out with him during my "2am pee trips"! My human *knows* I don't have to pee at 2am because our last pee happens at like 11pm. She is now very suspicious and I'm afraid she's going to start closing the dogdoor at night and take away the only snack I have left in my life.

I need one of those alibi things. Like, now.

Help?

SNOWMAGEDDON!

Ok, the weatherdude keeps talking about all the snow and ice that's taking over the universe. There's snow to the north of us where my man Stubby was from. Snow to the east of us where Frodo and my cousin Sophie live. And some super freakish snow all the way down south where the San Antonio pugs live (uhm, I think that would be Texas). I'm kinda starting to wonder: does anyone here *not* have snow?

I'm also feeling kinda left out. We never get snow. Like, ever. I saw it once in Tahoe two Christmases ago and another time in Tahoe last summer (yes, summer. Today's picture was taken last June). Right now it's warm enough to go to the beach and swim. Can anyone fill me in on what it's like to get snow? It sounds really fun?

PS: I'm so sorry to hear that I'm not the only one who's gotten munched/almost munched at the dog park! It sounds like they can be fun places, but they can also be scary places. Especially if you're little and don't know it.

LOVER OR FIGHTER?

We usually don't go to the dog park, but since my human is still kinda out of commission and the dog park is only a block from our house we've been going there a lot lately.

I don't mind the dog park. There are lots of laps to sit on and people awww at me. But my human isn't a fan because it's small and fenced in and I guess small and fenced in means things can get kind crazy sometimes. Yesterday was one of those times. And so was today.

Yesterday I got pounced on by a dog who doesn't like pugs. I tried to fight back but she was way bigger than me and way scary. The humans had to pull the pug-hater off me and when it was over my leg hurt so bad I couldn't walk. This TOTALLY freaked out all the humans, but after a few minutes my leg felt fine and I went back to playing.

Then today I got kinda mangled by some German-Shorthaired-something who I think thought I was a bunny. I thought we were playing chase - until he grabbed me by the tail and tried to eat me. Of course I went completely poodle and scared him off, but it still hurt.

My human gets all freaked out when I go poodle on big dogs because she's afraid I'm going to end up really getting my butt kicked some day. I don't go poodle for no reason anymore, but if someone tries to eat me like a bunny - I'm totally going poodle on them.

I'm more of a lover than a fighter, so I don't start fights. But if someone starts a fight with me, I want to be the one to finish it. Y'know? Are you a lover or a fighter? Or a little of both?

PS: thanks for backing me up on the snore thing. When my human tried to kick me out of bed (again!) last night I fought back by reminding her that I am a very quiet snorer.

SNORE CAM

So, my human made this video after she kicked me out of bed (again) for sounding like a lumberjack. I wanted to hear what I did to deserve getting kicked out of bed, so she turned her phone into a snore cam.

I don't really think my lumberjack-ing is that bad, but my human says that's only because my face is squished and the dogbed is muffling the sound. Whatever. What I do know is it's really hard to fall asleep when there's a camera pointed at you. Even cellphone cameras mean cookies and who wants to sleep when you might get a cookie for doing something cute!?

Anyway. I'm not sure how much fun it is to watch a sleeping pug, but seeing yourself sleep is pretty freaky. I had no idea my eyes move when I'm asleep. Or that I can sleep AND snore AND have my eyes open at the same time. I think I should totally get a cookie for that trick, right?

PS: don't you love how my human waits until the END of the video to get rid of the icky eye booger?!?

FEBRUARY COOKIES!

It's a brand new month and you know what that means: COOKIES! Well, cookie instructions anyway. Courtesy of the awesome people at Bubba Rose Biscuit Company who said it's OK for me to share recipes from their Organic Dog Biscuit Cookbook.

We haven't tried this recipe yet, but awhile ago my human made one up using stuff we had in our kitchen and the cookies came out supertasty. If my human's imaginary recipe can turn oats, bacon and carrot juice into supertasty cookies, you know the Bubba Rose recipe will be ridiculously good. And pink instead of orange :)

Enjoy!

Whole Lotta Love

1 cup oat flour
1 1/4 cup rice flour
1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese
1 6 oz can tomato paste
1 TBS beet powder [or juice] (optional for color)
1 egg
2 1/3 cup water

* * *

Preheat oven to 350. Combine all ingredients together and mix until a dough forms. Roll out on lightly floured surface to 1/4" thickness. Use a heart shaped cookie cutter (or a knife) to cut out shapes. Place the cookies on an ungreased cookie sheet (they can be close together as they don't grow much while cooking).

Bake 20-25 minutes. Transfer and let cool completely on a wire rack. Store the cookies in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

PS
Here are some important things I've learned about cookies:

* add bacon (bacon makes even the best-tasting things taste even better)

* shape dough into small balls for easy eating (cute shapes are, uh, cute - but balls are aerodynamic!)

* the smaller the cookies, the more you'll get to eat

* skip the airtight container - immediately eat as many cookies as possible while your human isn't looking