WITH AN 'S'

So of course when brother Dutch heard about my New Year's revolution he had to have one too. Brothers are like that.

ME: But you're not hefty. My revolution is about looking like a tube.
DUTCH: Don't they make revolutions for skinny dogs?
ME: Uh, maybe? I don't know.
DUTCH: Hey - what exactly is a revolution, anyway?

Uh, kinda embarrassing, but I had no idea how to answer that. I just knew my revolution would make me less tubular in the new year. So I asked my friend Google about it.

GOOGLE: A revolution?
ME: Yup.
GOOGLE: Puglet, a revolution is a radical and pervasive change in society and the social structure, esp. one made suddenly and often accompanied by violence; an overthrow or repudiation and the thorough replacement of an established government or political system by the people governed.
ME: Huh what?

Google then explained that maybe I really meant a New Year's resolution, with an S. A resolution is when you decide you're going to do something and then do it. That makes a lot more sense to me than overthrowing a government, or whatever.

Now that I know what a New Year's resolution really is, I have a few of them:

1. Lose some heftiness.

2. Be a better bloggee. How do you all know to come here everyday?? I want to read your blogs too because they are really good, but my gimpy brained human never remembers. Unless someone says, Hey, go read my post from last Wednesday, she forgets to go to them. Any suggestions??

3. Help homeless pugs.

4. Uh....

I'm still working on #4. This resolution stuff is so cool, I don't want to stop at #3 (hint: Google says they work better if you write them down). Does anyone else here have resolutions??

NEW YEAR'S REVOLUTION

Christmas was so confusing, I'm not even going to try to understand New Years. I asked my human about it but gave up when she got to the part about fizzy drinks and a giant ball dropping off a building. In some place called Times Square. At midnight.

If a ball was dropping off a building here in San Francisco, during waking hours, I might be interested. But it's not. So all I know about New Year's is that when it gets here, I have to start walking off my heftiness. My human said getting rid of heftiness will be my New Year's revolution. Or something like that. She said a lot of people start revolutions on January 1st because it's the first day of a brand new year.

Huh?

Like I said, confusing. Luckily my human has a New Year's tradition I can actually understand: on the last day of every year, she takes pictures. Not just any pictures though. I mean, she does that like every day. These pictures are special because she takes them with an old camera her mother gave her like a million years ago.

I'm a little fuzzy on the details, but I guess this camera is extrasuperspecial because it was the first one she ever owned. It also eats something called film (?) and can only take 36 pictures before it gets full. And I guess when the camera gets full, the old year can be over and a new one can start.

I'm kinda excited about this end-of-year picture taking thing. I usually get lots of cookies when my human uses her camera and I need to eat all the cookies I can get before I have to start my New Year's revolution.

KENTUCKY FRIED CHRISTMAS

I know. It's almost New Years and I'm still talking about Christmas. But this really isn't about Christmas. It's about chicken. And THE best thing we did to celebrate Christmas.

So after the presents, and the cookies, and the snow... came the drive-thru. It was my first drive-thru and I didn't know what to make of it. A box with pictures of food on it yelled at us. My human yelled back at it. This happened a few times. Then a lady reached out of a window and tried to steal money from my human. At least that's what it looked like to us dogs, so we barked real loud to scare away the window lady.

Our plan seemed to work, but it also made my human mad:

GUYS! One more bark and no one gets nuggets!

Nuggets? I didn't know that's what we were doing. We'd been playing in the snow all day and nuggets sounded reeeeeallly good. But when I looked out the window, I didn't see a Popeye's sign. Just a picture of a guy that kinda looked like Santa but with cooler glasses, a better haircut and no goofy hat.

Me: Where are we?
Human: KFC
Me: Is that guy on the sign Santa?
Human: No, that's The Colonel
Me: Oh

No idea who The Colonel is, what he has to do with Christmas, or what he did to Popeye. But we left KFC with a bucket of yummy nuggets. My friends Jack and Vegas were with us so I had to share my nuggets with them. And brother Dutch too. AND The Man.

My human is the only one who didn't want a piece of my nuggets. But shared nuggets are better than no nuggets at all. Especially after playing in the snow all day. And especially on Christmas.

ABONIMABLE SNOW PUG?

I hope everyone who does Christmas had a good one with lots of cookies and goodies and toys. Me and brother Dutch got some really fun stuff to play with (xmas-lobsters and rubber chickens dressed like Santa). My human refused to make me homemade cowpies, but I did get to eat the yummy cookies cousin Sophie sent us.

My human also made us leave some of our cookies out for Santa (no idea why) but I guess Santa doesn't like dog cookies because they were still there when I checked on them in the middle of the night. I didn't want my human to feel dumb for leaving dog cookies out for Santa so I ate them. Please don't tell her that though.

Besides eating cookies, the best thing about Christmas was the snow. My human said the only time she misses winter is at Christmas - that Christmas isn't Christmas without snow. Uhm. I thought Christmas wasn't Christmas without cookies? Or Santa. Or a weird leafless tree. I thought we had Christmas covered.

Human special-days can be so confusing!

Confusing can be fun though. We don't get snow here in San Francisco, so we took a trip to where the snow lives. I'd never played in snow before and it was really really cool. It was like going to the beach, but colder. Snow is waaaay more fun to eat than sand. I didn't get in trouble for eating snow and it didn't give me eye-snot like sand does. You pugs (and non-pugs) who get to live in snow are SO lucky!

TO be honest, I'd been kinda skeptical about the whole Christmas thing - with the goofy tree and scary Santas. But after the toys and cookies and snow, it might be my favorite special-day of the year.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

ENJOY THE COOKIES!!!