PAINTING-PAINT?

Yesterday we went to Home Depot to buy bigger rocks for the backyard (more on that later). Brother Dutch said he got a cookie from the paint department guy once, so even though we were there to get rocks, we dragged my human over to where the paint is.

Nobody gave us cookies, but seeing the paint got me superexcited about painting to help needy pugs. I started picking out paint colors and everything... until my human said no and dragged us back to the rocks.

ME: Why no? I thought I was going to learn to paint? Like Bellatrix said. Remember, the elephants? How can I paint to help pugs without -
HUMAN: I didn't mean no-you-can't-paint-to-help-the-pugs. I meant no to the paint.
ME: What's wrong with it? Are my colors ugly?
HUMAN: Oh Pug, your colors are fine. But Home Depot paint is different than painting-paint. To paint, you need painting-paint.

Humans have a way of making things soooo complicated, don't they??

I have no idea what the difference is between paint from The Depot and "painting-paint", but I've learned not to ask questions about this kind of stuff. So I just asked if we could go somewhere that sells the painting-paint I need to help pugs.

My human said yes and promised to take me to a place called Flax Art. Google says it's where creative people shop. Stay tuned...

LIKE YAO MING... OR OPRAH

When I got an email last week from Illinois-Missouri pug rescue about raising money to get a pug named Moochi a new snout, I was superexcited to chip in. I'm glad we were able to donate a little money, and I know our donation helped... but I wanted to help more. Give more.

But how?

Well. Thanks to my bud Stubby, I think I might have an idea. In case you missed it, last week Stubby blogged about a basketball player named Yao Ming who's using his fame to keep sharks out of soup. So.... what if I was famous like Yao Ming? Or, uh, Oprah?

If I was famous, I could raise loads of money to help pugs in need. I could put my pawprint on stuff and sell it on eBay. I could do appearances and let people pet me for a dollar. Humans love to pet me, I bet I could raise a ton of money that way.

And you all could be famous with me. Y'know, like an entourage or whatever. Pretty good idea, huh? I'm just not sure how to do it. I asked Google and got some really useless advice:

- Be the worst at something
- Identify urgent or dire needs of people and exploit them
- Contact famous people and ask them to help you
- Get a life (if you don't have one you can't be famous)

I guess maybe that stuff could help humans get famous, but I'm a pug. I need pug-friendly ways. Like winning eating contests or, uh...

Any ideas??

GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS

The good news (extrasuper good news!) is I got another special tweet from Jenny the pug. Woo Hoo! She really liked my poem and the mini-Henrietta rubberchicken I sent (didn't want to scare the puglets so I went with a mini-Henrietta).

Jenny even put pictures on her website: check out my beautiful Jenny with her new toy! Do you think this means she might kinda like me??

Now it's time for the bad news. Don't worry, it's not about Jenny. It's about, well... dolphins. And it might make you leak so I'm sorry.

OK, so last night it was all cold and rainy. Perfect weather for snuggling on the couch and watching a movie, my human said. Our couch is warm and dry. Movies mean popcorn. Sounded good to me.

And it was good. For a little while. I snacked and snuggled and fell into a deep popcorny sleep. And then the screaming started.

EEEEIIIIIIIIK! EEEEK EEK EEEEEIIIIIIKKKKKKK!

ME: MMmwhat is THAT?
MY HUMAN: dolphins.
ME: why are they making that awful sound?
MY HUMAN: because people are stabbing them in the head with a harpoon.
ME: oh.

I couldn't really go back to sleep after hearing that, so I watched the rest of The Cove in horror. I missed a whole bunch of details, but The Cove is mostly about dolphins in Japan getting killed for no reason. It's also about a bunch of people trying to stop the dolphin killing.

Both parts of The Cove made me really sad. I felt bad for the dolphins. And I felt bad for this one guy who leaked a lot. He blames himself for the dolphin killings because he made the world fall in love with some dolphin named Flipper.

I never thought much about dolphins before watching The Cove. Now I can't stop thinking about how much they need help. Google says the movie slowed down the killing in parts of Japan, but dolphins are still in big trouble.

The Cove will totally make you leak, but if leaking helps save lives then I guess it's worth it. If you haven't seen The Cove and want to help, you can help by signing a petition online (I was signature #82,623).

EXHIBIT A

Before you all helped me come to my senses about sending Jenny a bunch of dumb flowers, I sniffed around at the neighborhood flower place. While we were there, my human took some pictures of me and Brother Dutch. Today's photo is one of those pictures.

I call it Exhibit A of why all pictures should be of me. Seriously. I don't know why my human even bothers taking pictures of Dutch. He hates cameras and cameras hate him. Half the time he won't even look at the camera, and when he does, looks kinda miserable. And he would never ever do stuff like ride a donkey, wear a lobster suit, or drink soda.

Uh, hellllo!

But for some reason, my human still insists on taking Dutch's picture. She gives him cookies for it too. Cookies that could (and should) be mine! Because I love cameras and cameras love me. I mean, do I totally grab your attention in today's pic, or what?

WOOO HOO!

You are never ever going to guess what happened... so let me tell you:

Jenny the pug tweeted me.

Yup. She tweeted. ME! And not just any old tweet. She sent me a private tweet WITH her address!

I was soooo happy I did a little happy dance all around the house. Dutch totally made fun of me, but whatever. He doesn't know. He doesn't have a Jenny who sends special tweets and is OK with getting stuff in the mail from semi-secret admirers.

So I did it. I sent my love to Jenny the pug. Ok, I really sent her a box with a toy and a poem in it. But they definitely said I might kinda love you. My heart is now in the hands of the USPS, on its way to Oregon.

I'm a little nervous though. I mean, what if she doesn't like the poem? Or the toy I picked out? Or... me?

FUN IS FUN

It stopped raining for about 10 minutes yesterday. We ran straight to the park but no other dogs were around so I had to play fetch all by myself (that thing in my mouth is a ball).

Brother Dutch and my human whined about the mud, but wet dirt doesn't bother me. It's better than rain and I was happy to be out of the house. Being stuck inside day after day after rainy, windy day is no fun at all. I seriously wonder if it's ever going to stop raining.

Luckily my human brought home some new toys to ease the pain (and keep us busy so we don't drive her nuts). My new laser-pointy thingy is crazy-fun. Dutch doesn't want anything to do with it and that makes it even funner.

Check me out:



We also got a pair of these really loud stuffed things. They make the coolest CRUNKLE-CRUNKLE noise when you bite them. My human said it's because they have a waterbottle in their belly. That sounds kinda weird to me, but whatever. Fun is fun.

(Sorry about the bad video; my human is better with pictures)

Oh yeah - for the record, I won. I always do.

21 DAYS LATER

I've been working on my New Year's revolutions for 3 whole weeks now. In case you forget, they are:

1. Lose some heftiness.
2. Be a better bloggee.
3. Help homeless pugs.
4. Uh....

(with your help, we later filled in #4 with Get human to write a children's book about me and Dutch)

So far, I've been pretty good at #1 and #3:

#1 (lose heft)
I've been bouncing every day and my weight is down from a hefty 25.1 to a less-hefty 24.3 (don't tell my human, but some of that is harness weight; I don't think she noticed I was only wearing a collar for the second weigh-in).

#3 (help pugs)
To help needy pugs, I donated money by voting in to Southern Nevada Pug Rescue's cuteness contest. I also chipped in to help a pug named Moochi get a new snout. Oh - and I'm working on a collection of empty ink cartridges to send to PugPROS (they recycle them and get money for pugs).

I've kinda sucked at Revolution #2 (be a better bloggee). It's my human's fault. I need her help to read your blogs, but she never remembers to read them because her brain is gimpy. Google tried to help by giving us this thing called Google Reader but my human forgets to look there too.

I just found out that Blogger can send out an alert email whenever you write a new blog post. It only takes a few seconds to set up and you can pick 10 people/pugs to alert. So if you have a blog, a few seconds & room on your list - can you please add me? It would totally help me be a better blog reader!

You make this happen in the Settings section of Blogger (my email is dailypuglet(at)gmail.com):

As for Revolution #4 (children's book)... my human claims she's been doing 'research' at some place called Borders. I'm not allowed in Borders though, so I don't know if this is true.

A GIFT FOR JENNY

Yesterday was another boring day because of the rain. We were almost out of dog food, so we went to the store and killed time with shopping. Me and Dutch got cookies and a bag of kibble... and Jenny got a new toy.

I know we talked about getting her something edible, but I decided a toy would be better. We have so much in common, what if she made a revolution to be less hefty too? I wouldn't want to sabotage anypug's efforts to lose heft.

Not that Jenny needs to be less hefty or anything - I think she is PERFECT just the way she is. But I also think I am perfect just the way I am and the vet still said I look like a tube. So... yeah. I skipped the snacks and got her the best toy ever. There's only one problem: I have no idea how to give it to her.

Google helped me find Jenny's website, and I was hoping there'd be an email address or like a 1-800-Jenny number I could call. But there wasn't either of those things. The only clue I could find was a billboard with Jenny's picture on it that belongs to an Oregon news station. Do you think I should send my present to the news people? They must be friends with Jenny if they put her on their billboard, right?

I'm not sure if this is a good idea though. Do you think it's romantic, me tracking her down and all... or does it make me seem stalker-y??

Jenny (and friends of Jenny): if you're reading this, I promise I am NOT a stalker. I am a nice pug and just want to send my beloved Jenny a present. If you can help or have any clues, please contact me at dailypuglet(at)gmail.com.

RAIN RAIN GO SOMEPLACE ELSE

I know I shouldn't complain about our weather. I mean, it's better than a lot of other weather out there. It never really gets cold, it never really gets hot and we don't get stuff like tornadoes or blizzards. But right now it's really windy and raining. And it's been really windy and raining for the past few days and it's supposed to keep being windy and raining for another few days so... waaah.

I am officially complaining about our weather.

The big reason I'm complaining is because bad weather makes life boring. I don't like going out in it, and neither does brother Dutch or my human. Today we made a break for the beach when the rain stopped. Wind blew sand in my face the entire time and we only got to play for a little bit before the rain started pouring on us again.

I don't like being outside in weather, but being stuck inside is so BOR-ing. A pug can only take so many naps, y'know? What do you all do when the weather won't let you play outside??

MLK DAY

Another special-day for humans... and more confusion for me. I've learned that holidays are never what they seem so I just came right out and asked about this one.

ME: so, what is this special-day about?
MY HUMAN: MLK Day celebrates Martin Luther King, Jr.
ME: kinda like Christmas celebrates Santa Claus?
MY HUMAN: uhm, Christmas actually celebrates Jesus.

Jesus? Who the heck is Jesus?? I give up trying to figure this stuff out. But I did ask my buddy Google to tell me a little bit about Martin Luther King, Jr. I don't know a thing about Jesus, but MLK is waaay cooler than Santa Claus. I mean, Martin Luther King Jr gave his life to help all people be equal.

Yup. His life.

My human says I won't get any new toys or eat pie on this special-day. But that's OK because this day is about MLK, not me.

SIGNS

I once heard some lady on TV say that if you ask, the universe will provide. I'm a little fuzzy on the details, but I think it was Oprah who said it.

Well, yesterday the universe gave me sign. And the sign said Love Specialist. The sign is right by our house, across from the store that sells flowers. I've seen that sign about a gazillion times, but never really saw it until yesterday. If you know what I mean.

Now that I need help sending my love to Jenny, the universe has given me Hanna the Psychic/Love Specialist!

At first I was a little afraid of Hanna the Psychic because I didn't know what a 'psychic' does. I thought she might be like a vet or something and I hate vets because they always stick things up my butt. I love Jenny, but that doesn't mean I'm letting some psychic touch my butt!

Hanna the Psychic didn't go near my butt though. She just looked at my paw and stared at me for a really long time without saying a word. Then she nodded and said, "Yes". Nothing else, just yes.

Yes? Yes what? Yes, Jenny loves me? Yes, Jenny already has a boyfriend? Yes, Jenny is a dude in a dress?? I kinda started to panic. But then Hanna started talking.

She told me things about a past life I don't remember. She also told me stuff about the future, but it didn't have anything to do with love. Or Jenny. When we finally got to the part about love, Hanna said something like: if you don't find love, love will find you.

Huh? What the heck is that supposed to mean? I wanted to ask Hanna to explain, but I got the feeling that's all she had to say.

I left Hanna the Psychic feeling even more confused than ever. I think I'll just stick with the plan and send Jenny a poem. And maybe something to eat. If she doesn't love me after that, there's probably nothing else I can do.

DEAR JENNY

Thanks for all the good advice! I really liked the idea of making a special video for Jenny, but my human says she "doesn't do videos" so I've decided to go with Ollie's plan and write Jenny a poem. And maybe send some flowers too.

I'm new to this poem-writing stuff, so I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say or how I'm supposed to say it. Do you think these are any good??


Poem #1

Dear Jenny,

I saw your video
and now I know
you are the only pug for me.

I like going to the beach
and playing in sand
and taking walks around town
And so do you.

See what I mean?

Love, Puglet

---

Poem #2

Dear Jenny,

I've watched your videos
a hundred and two times
And I'll keep watching them until we meet
because we were meant to be.
Even if you do live in Oregon.

Your #1 fan,

Puglet

---

Poem #3

Dear Jenny,

I've never written a poem before
but when I saw your video
I felt all funny inside
and now I'm pretty sure I might love you.

I would like to get to know you better.
Unless you have a boyfriend,
are a St Bernard named George,
or a cross-dressing Rottweiler.

Love?
Puglet

---

Thanks for helping me! I really want Jenny to like me and not think I'm a creepy stalker.

LOVESICK

This is kinda embarrassing, but I need some help with my, uh, love life.

So there's this girl pug. Her name is Jenny. I've never met her because she lives in some place called Oregon, but when I saw her video on the internet it was love at first sight. And every time I watch one of Jenny's videos, I fall in love all over again.



I made the stupid mistake of telling brother Dutch about my feelings for Jenny.

DUTCH: Dude. You haven't even sniffed butts. How can you love her? You might not even like her.
ME: I can just tell.
DUTCH: Whatever. Besides, she lives in Oregon. We live in California. Even if her butt smells OK, you'll never see each other.
ME: Love knows no boundaries.
DUTCH: Whatever.

Then I made the mistake of telling my human. She told me I shouldn't fall in love with strange pugs on the internet. When I asked why she just said that sometimes the internet lies and cute little Jenny the pug could be a St. Bernard named George for all I know.

That makes ZERO sense to me, so now I'm just.... confused.

I need to know the best way to let Jenny know how I feel. Google said if I do it the wrong way, she might think I'm a stalker or something and that's the last thing I want. Any ideas??

SAVING FACES

My human got an email the other day asking about a big problem all pug picture-takers face: Getting your camera to make a cute puggy face look like a cute puggy face and not a dark blob.

She says pug faces are hard for a few reasons:

Problem #1: Cameras don't like extremes
Cameras have a hard time with dark AND light in the same picture (think: light pug body/dark pug face... brother Dutch's entire body). So when your camera sees a fawn pug like me, it says: Uh, black AND that light fawn-color in the same place? Are you kidding?? I can really only get one of them right. This thing is mostly fawn-color so I guess I'm supposed to get the fawn-color right. Sorry about those dark parts. Hope they weren't important.

Problem #2: Cameras are stupid
A camera doesn't know -or even care- what cute is. All it cares about is light and there's no such thing as cute light. Your camera takes a picture by measuring the amount of light bouncing off stuff and then deciding how much light needs to be inside the camera to make a picture of that stuff come out good. Light-colored things tell the camera to let a little bit of light inside; dark things tell the camera to let a lot of light inside.

A pug like me is like 90% light-colored, so the camera thinks: oh, a light-colored thing. I don't need to let in much light to take this picture. So the camera lets in just enough light to make my light-colored puggy body look good.... and my face turns into a black blob because there isn't enough light inside the camera to create the details in my dark puggy eyes/nose/wrinkles.

That's probably waaaay more than you wanted to know about cameras... but the moral of the story is that cameras don't like pugs (and they HATE dalmatians). My human says there are things you can do to help your camera take better pug pictures (good for all dogs and black puggies too):

* Look for a setting that tells your camera to pay more attention to whatever's in the middle of a picture (it's called center-weighted metering, check your manual). Keep your pug's face in the center and it shouldn't turn into a blob. [note from human: Personally, I never use this setting - so if you don't have it on your camera, don't worry]

* Get as much light on your pug's face as possible. This means always always ALWAYS stand between the lightsource and your pug when taking a picture. When the source of light is behind YOU, it will be in front of (shining on) your pug. Big bright windows are really good.

Example: http://dailypuglet.blogspot.com/2009/08/caught.html

See those white rectangle in my eyes? That's a window. My human was standing between me and a big window and took that picture with a little $100 Casio. No giant fancy scary(!) camera needed.

* If you really want to get super-fancy (sort of), you can use a reflector to "bounce" light onto a pug's face. A reflector can be anything white. A light colored wall will work, so will a silver car-window shade thingy or 39cent piece of white posterboard. The idea is to have your pug facing whatever it is you're using as a reflector. If you experiment, it will make more sense than me trying to explain how to do it :)

Good luck with your cameras. May the face be with you!

HEARTLESS TREE KILLERS

On Saturday we went to visit my weird leafless tree. We packed water and some Miracle Grow and everything.

You have to walk up a giant hill to get to my tree. We buried it away from a main trail so nobody would pee on it. We thought my tree would be happy there. We thought my tree would be safe. We thought it would grow up to be a great big tree that birds could build nests in and stuff.

We thought wrong.

Because when we got to the place my tree was buried, it was gone. Gone! My human was very careful to pick a place we'd be able to find again. We found the place, but my tree wasn't where we left it. And it wasn't where we left it because some evil tree killer ripped it from the ground and threw it down the giant hill! My human saw it's near-dead yellow body lying in the green grass.

Why would anyone kill a poor defenseless tree??

It made me very sad to see my tree like that. So we brought it home and buried it in a pot out on the deck. We've promised not to pee on it, but I still don't don't know if my tree will survive.

BOUNCY BOUNCY BOUNCY

So I made a deal with my human about my heftiness: if I move more, she won't feed me less.

I mean, I really don't eat that much. Really. I get 1/2 cup of food for breakfast and 1/2 cup of food for dinner. Brother Dutch eats the same exact food and he gets FOUR WHOLE CUPS of it! At night, we both get a big carrot. Once a week I get a bull-penis or a Primal bone. I snack on rocks and dustbunnies when my human isn't looking, but don't tell her that.

How much less could a pug possibly eat???

Anyway. Dutch eats everything I do (except for the rocks and dustbunnies) but no one's calling him tubey. My human says it's because I have the [quote] metabolism of a tree sloth. I don't know what that means, but I don't want her to take away any of my food so I asked Google for help.

Google said what my human probably meant is that my body doesn't need much food to survive. Uhhhh, yes it does! But Google also said the more I move, the more food my body will need. And that's when I came up with a genius idea.

My human has this bouncy thing she used after she had foot surgery and wasn't allowed to go running. She said bouncing is kinda like running, only you don't go anywhere. I asked if bouncing counts as moving and she said yes. So now I bounce. On the bouncy I can move whenever I want, for as long as I want. I'm thinking if I bounce A LOT my human might even start feeding me more.

Hefty Hefty Hefty?
Bouncy Bouncy Bouncy!

TOO MUCH CUTENESS!

As you know, one of my New Year's revolutions is to help needy pugs. It's been 2010 for an entire week already and if these revolution things don't stick for pugs the way they don't stick for humans, I might not have much time left.

Luckily, we got an email yesterday from Southern Nevada Pug Rescue. Good news! They are helping me help pugs by having a cuteness contest. Ok, the contest is really for pugs in need and has nothing to do with me. But by voting in the contest, I can keep my revolution AND make a difference in the life of a pug. It's a total win-win.

I'm pretty sure I can make my revolutions last the whole year, but just in case I don't make it past January, I cast a whole bunch of votes in the contest. If you can donate a few $ to help puggies, or just want to see some serious cuteness, check out the contest on Southern Nevada Pug Rescue's website.

HUG-A-BUG-PUG

Sorry if I caused any leaks yesterday. Yoda's pack felt your pug love all the way through the internet and I think that's worth a little bit of leaking.

But because pugs (even sleeping pugs) are all about happiness and, well, more happiness... today there will be NO leaking. Today there will be singing.

Yes, singing.

It's not my singing, but it is a song about me* (I snort and I snore and I can make a terrifying woo-woo-woo sound, but I don't do singing). The singing is by a supercool song maker (technical term: singer/songwriter) named Karen Potje. She sent the song to me and my human and we both think it's extrasupercute, so now we're sharing it with you. Oh, and if the song gets stuck in your head and you want to sing along with Karen, you can download Hug-a-bug-Pug here.





* Note from human: Karen's song isn't really about Puglet. She has a puggy muse of her own named Capone. But please don't tell Pug that. Since I call him 'Pug', any song called Hug-a-bug-Pug MUST be about him.

FOR YODA

Today I am sad because yesterday I found out that my friend Yoda went to sleep.

I'd met Yoda (and sisters Phoebe and Zoey) a bunch of times, but it wasn't until the December Pug Sunday that our humans met and we were finally introduced for real. Y'know, names and everything. We looked for Yoda and Phoebe and Zoey at this weekend's Pug Sunday... but never found them.

Last night when we walked past the flower store near our house, I remembered that when a friend go to sleep, there should be flowers and a moment of silence. And hugs. Lots of hugs for the people (and pugs) who will miss their sleeping friend.

So lots of pug hugs to Yoda's human and pug sisters Phoebe and Zoey. And a moment of silence for Yoda so he can sleep in peace.

GOODBYE, TREE

On Saturday we had our first adventure of 2010.

Remember that weird leafless tree The Man got me? Well, turns out it was a live tree. Y'know, like a regular plant that needs water and sun and stuff to stay alive. Yeah. And somehow my gimpy-brained human didn't realize my tree was alive until it started to die.

So out we went in the rain to bury my tree. The planting instructions said it likes full sun (and hello! cannot survive indoors). Our backyard isn't very big, doesn't get a lot of sun and already has one tree that makes lemons and another that makes pink flowers. My human didn't think my tree would be happy in our yard, so we went to one of my favorite parks on earth to find it a home.

It took awhile to find a place for my tree where:

a) it wouldn't get peed on
b) it would get full sun
c) we wouldn't get yelled at for planting it

We finally found a clearing at the very top of a canyon where two other weird leafless trees were already growing. My tree should be happy living there with its people. The grass in the clearing is also very tasty, so brother Dutch and I can have free snacks whenever we visit.

HELLO 2010!

HAPPY NEW YEAR everybody!

(Let the revolutions -uh, I mean resolutions- begin!)