Friday, February 10, 2012


I wish I could blame a hike for making me so late again today, but this time it's my human's fault. She was running around all morning getting ready to cheat on me (again) tomorrow and we finally just got home.

She gave away all my cookies last weekend so I knew she'd be making a run to the dogfood store to get some more. I figured I could score free snacks from the checkout lady and complete the first phase of Operation Bacon.

Phase One: convince my human I'm not too tubey to eat a Bacon Shake.

The last time I weighed in, I had a really bad scale day (26.7lbs). But the scale was at my friend Lulu's vet and I thought their scale just sucked. I was afraid my human might remember the number and say no to the Shake, so I suggested we weight me in again today on the official dogfood store scale.

Uhm, yeah. Bad idea. The official scale said I'm even tubier than Lulu's vet's scale. I peed a million times and everything but I'm still officially 1.8 lbs over my 25lbs or no-treats weight limit.

Thank Bacon Mr. Skinnyneck wanted to show off his weight perfection because the official scale said he's tubey too! Yep. Mr I-never-gain-weight is usually 68 lbs but today the scale said 70.

My human totally sucks at math so I pointed out that 70lbs - 68lbs = 2lbs and if you suck 2lbs of scale-induced tubiness out of me, my official weight = 24.8 and 24.8 is waaay under the 25 lb no-treat mark. Numbers don't lie so she couldn't exactly argue with me.


Phase One: mission accomplished.
I don't know what Phase Two is yet, but I'm definitely one step closer to scoring a Bacon Shake.


Miley said...

Hey Puglet thanks for the heads up about the Bacon Milkshakes. After the vet today we talked mom into going Jack in the box for a shake. At the vet the scale said that Boka had lost 1 pound, Schotz lost like 3 oz and I am my perfect weight as usual. We had to share 1 shake but it was super yummy. You have to talk your human into it.
Love Miley

Anonymous said...

Lol I can't even understand your math so Miss Gimpy won't figure it out for sure! Nice work!
Paula from DE

Anonymous said...

You are soo good at arguing and taking advantage of your human's gimpiness because she's got a million things on her mind and you only have one! BAACONN!

Anonymous said...

Dutch looks a little guilty. Or maybe it's just boredom.

Anonymous said...

We liked your idea of bacon sprinkles on your bacon milkshake....until you posted your weight. Dude...buddy...pal... maybe you need our super sub secret recipe for losing weight.
Well actually its not a secret. Its the Green Bean dog diet.

Here goes: have your human google the pumpkin & green bean diet for dogs. It really works.

When Ellie damaged her back she needed to lose 5 lbs, Ellie is now a svelt 20 lbs, cept she still has back fat, but every pug has back fat.

Svelt Ellie, Skin & Bones Emmitt and Eli the goofball that never gains weight.
PS Emmitt didn't need to lose weight he is naturally skinny like Dutch. Skinny makes him blazing fast in Agility.

Noodles said...

Hi Puglet
Well I think the scale was wrong! I mean, if Dutch NEVER gains weight and the scale said he did WELL that is proof that the scale had ADDED 2 pounds to your svelte self. I say bring on the BACON SHAKE.
Guess what!!! I am guilty of stealing your Human for 15 minutes tomorrow. I am so excited I keep going outside to pee. Think it will make me look more svelte too???
Love Noodles

Payton said...

That was a close one Pug! So relieved to hear operation bacon is back on!!

pugsmom said...

That was so funny. My humom is a total math gimp. She didn't get it at all. She actually said she has some bacon in the fridge and maybe she would make us some bacon whip cream treats, "just for fun". Go Puglet!!! She didn't even mention how much plumper I am than the rest of the pack. Please don't say anymore. She might wise up. Snort, snort!!
Phoebe in Gladstone, Oregon

Unknown said...

Our humom took us to the pet store to see how much we weighed, me Otis, is tipping the scale at 26.4 and my sister Black Pearl, comes in at 24.6. No bacon for us. Ohh, we do like green beans so maybe we should check out that green bean diet, hope J.I.T.B. will keep those milkshakes around for awhile. Going to a Pug Valentines Day party tomorrow in Bothell, WA to benefit Seattle Pug Rescue, so excited!!

Crabbie Chris said...

Two words my back fat chunk friend...NOM NOM!! Now go get that bacon because I'm hungry and you're back fat is my main dish. Keep it coming I love it!!

THE PUGLET said...

OK, for the record I am big boned. I think that means I can weigh more and not be fat.

Or something.

THE PUGLET said...

Hi Noodles!

The peeing obviously didn't help me any, but you're plenty svelte. I'm trying to talk my human into letting me be a pug greeter tomorrow. Maybe I'll see your skinny self at the park :)

THE PUGLET said...

Hey BellaT!

I'm cool with you biting my back fat, but can we maybe call it something else until I get my Bacon Shake? Something that doesn't have the word FAT in it?

Foodie Girl said...

I think you should blame all the other pugs that she is cheating on you with. Call it "depression eating", my mom eats more when she is sad - so you can too! Use guilt - tell her that if she didn't cheat so much, you wouldn't be so depressed, eat more, go hiking less and gain weight. Then tell her a nice bacon shake would make you feel soooo much better about the cheating. I've seen this guilt stuff work all the time. My grandma uses it on my mom all the time!!


Meredith LeBlanc said...

How about back fluff? That sounds nice :)

Meredith & Scarlet

Scruffers said...

I can't figure out why I always get this post a day later than everyone else. Puglet, are you jealous of my gorgeous 20.4 lb self? Please don't be - my mom has me on low calorie (don't know what that means) food, and it doesn't taste bacony at all. Maybe when I see you in April I can convince my human to bring bacon for all of us!

Anne said...

Our mom brought the boy a maple bacon donut for his birthday breakfast and we only got a couple of crumbs each! So we feel your bacon bereavement too. And tell your mom scales lie all the time cuz our mom yells that at the scale all the time! We hope you get your bacon shake soon!
Buddy and Lucey

Hunterthepug said...

Well Puglet, my sister and I are really working hard on mom to get us a Bacon Shake, but not sure it's gonna happen. Mom doesn't eat bacon so she doesn't understand. :( I will say that i eat green beans every night and have for years ( I don't know anything about a diet), but they are a great late night snack as long as they don't have any salt and I've been able to stay under the vet recommended 20 lbs. Sis is a bit bigger, but she's big boned too. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Did you check to see if your human or Dutch was sticking their paw on the scale to make you weigh more!? It could be sabotage! If not, then it's really the human's fault you gained, you haven't gone on any cool adventures to work off the cookies!

The 'now' svelte Frodo (hehehe)

Sammy and Neko said...

You got muscle, not fat, that's it! Muscle is heavier than fat cells... yeah, no doubt you are officially a machopug!!


Kazza said...

Oh poor you - we feel your pain! Ronnie, our pug we adopted last year was 25lb when we got him, he is down to 20lb now but the vet still wants him to lose more. He can only dream of bacon!