Monday, July 23, 2012

MAGIC WORDS


Hey everybody! Sorry I wasn't here on Friday, but I was trapped. Like, under Frank. He came over to keep me company so my human's leaking head could rest and get better. Frank seemed to think keeping me company meant humping, so that's pretty much what he did to me the whole entire time.

Day humping.
Night humping
I'm not a huge fan of being humped, even by Frank. But I guess it's more fun than lying in bed staring at the ceiling. The best part about hanging out with Frank is he's kinda tubey and that makes people think I'm skinny. Seriously. Like four people called me 'the skinny one' when I was out walking with Frank.

skinny me
And I'm not sure how it happened, but all of a sudden I have a waist. It could be because my human lost the measuring thingy for my food in Portland and has been guessing wrong ever since. Maybe Frank humped the tubeiness off me. Not sure. But wherever the waist came from, it's definitely there. My human even noticed and she never notices anything.

Then last night something totally amazing happened. I was trying to score some human food by doing my best kitchen-Jimmy, and I guess my waist looked extra waisty because my human said the magic words every pug on earth wants to hear:  

Pug, you're looking kinda skinny.

SKINNY! Me. Skinny. And not even because Frank is fat because he went home. Of course my human didn't give me anything - like FOOD! - to make me less skinny, but she did say we need to get my butt on a scale. I asked her if my butt can have something special to eat if it weighs less than 25 lbs. She must feel guilty about maybe starving me because she totally said yes.

Scale, here I come...

16 comments:

Those Jersey Shore Puggles said...

yeah, we were worrying about you Pug with all that eating on the road thing: bagels in every city, pizza when your human forgot your food, voodoo doughnuts and we mustn't forget that amazing corndog, we were worried about you. Scales don't lie so we hope yours tells ya something you want to hear. Maybe you'll score a baconator! Here's hoping, buddy!!

Roxi, Riley & Lea

THE PUGLET said...

Holy bacon, you totally read my mind! I saw a thing on TV for the 'son of baconator' and think I absolutely MUST have one. Either that or a corndog. Or another trip to the Bacon Bacon truck. Maybe all of them.

I mean, how many times in my life is my human going to think I'm skinny??

Holdin27 said...

Holy cow puglet, you've got rock hard abs! Look at you!

THE PUGLET said...

Uhm, pretty sure my human said those are my ribs. But I think rock hard abs sounds way cooler!

Rock hard abs = needs bacon.

Meredith LeBlanc said...

You're a lean, mean Pug machine! Look at you! But we think you need lots of eatables, STAT.

♥♥♥
Meredith & Scarlet

stellaroselong said...

Wow puglet you have an amazing slim body...i think you can probably be a "food coach" now to pugs who are working hard to lose a few lbs. I think mom should let you pick out anything you want to eat...cos the next words you are going to start to hear is "gaunt"...and thats not good!! P.S. My Mom hates to have to prove she is not a robot on the site...she is half blind so she has to do it several times..ummm..maybe she is a robot!
Stellie

Anonymous said...

Congrats Pug! I'm a Border Collie but I know how hard it is for us dogs to keep our waists. My humans and I were owned by a pug until the c-word happened to her. My human mom just found your blog and she says your pictures and the goofy things you do make her smile. I told her you're not goofy you're a supermodel. Paws crossed for the baconator.
Nuzzles to all, Nikki

Noodles said...

Hi Puglet,
I say totally exploit that waist thing while you can. All too soon you may find yourself on a D-I-E-T!!! I got a little tubey over the last few months when Auntie T worked from home. Somehow all of those "tastes" of her food added up to a pudgey pug and I have been on limited rations FOREVER!
Love Noodles

Sammy and Neko said...

Lean and mean, bad a$$, Puglet !! Eat more and workout (humping works on this huh?). Soon, you will be releasing workout DVD.

You are my start !!

Neko

Maggie the Pug in Dallas said...

WOW....you heard the word SKINNNY! Don't think I've ever heard that! You so deserve some bacon...wishing for a low number on that scale Puglet!

Augustus said...

Maybe that's not actually a waist, maybe your tubey part just got dented from all the humping. I still think you need bacon.

THE PUGLET said...

"Maybe your tubey part just got dented from all the humping"

Ok, Augustus. That's pretty freaking funny. I just hope it isn't true!! Because if it is, the scale will know and I won't get any bacon.

Hrmpf.

THE PUGLET said...

Ooooo, Sammy+Neko, I think a workout DVD would be awesome. Especially if making it makes me skinny enough to eat bacon everyday.

My human said something the other day about wanting to get one of those treadmill things for her desk because all she does is stand around all day staring at HAL and it's making her tubey. Maybe I could make a video on that thing?

Paula from DE said...

Like I've said before!!! You are svelt!! Most pugs only dream of your super model figure!! My pugnephew Stan is also pretty svelt. However I'm probably in big trouble for sharing my cheese doodles with him yesterday. I'm pretty sure he'd just keep eating of there was never ending food and snacks.

Buford T. Justice said...

DUDE!!!!!! You have a WAIST and just in time to see Bambi this weekend......Do me a favor and don't pay too much attention to her.....She'll never shut up if ou do.....She is planning on bringing you a super special prezzie but I think she stole it from my store....

You pal,
Buford T. Justice

PS. See you Saturday at the 1000 pugs shoot!!!!!

Anne said...

Lookin' good Pug! Someone needs to tell Frank you are NOT a ride-on toy! Mom has to yell that at Lucey all the time because she tries to hump me too!
<3,
Buddy