INTERVENTION

Google says the first step to overcoming an addiction is admitting you have a problem. So here goes:

My name is Puglet and I'm a rockaholic.

There. I said it. But honestly? I really don't see what the problem is. I like to eat rocks, big deal. It could be worse. Some dogs eat dog poop! I tried explaining this to my human and you know what she said? She said poop would be better than rocks.

EEEEEEW!

Gross. I told her the only poo this pug wants to eat comes out of a baby cow in the form of a pie. Anyway, so you know what my human does to stop me from eating rocks? She gets a spray bottle and squirts water at me any time I try to do it. This did nothing to stop the rock eating, but it did make me want to stay faaar away from my human.

So she came up with Plan B: a remote control collar thingy. Any time I tried to eat a rock, the collar would go BEEEP. No idea what that was supposed to accomplish. When the BEEEP didn't stop me, the collar started blasting stinky stuff in my face. It smelled like lemons and made my eyes all red and watery. The thought of hurting my eyes freaked my human out even more than my rock-eating. Bye-bye remote control collar.

We're now at Plan C: pond pebbles. These suckers are huge -!- the biggest ones at Home Depot. I tried to talk my human out of it. We already have perfectly good rocks. Don't waste your money! I told her. She says she'd rather spend money on rocks at Home Depot than at the vet for rock removal.

No idea why the vet would have to remove any rocks. My rocks always, uh, come out on their own. I know Rosie's brother Ollie has rock issues. Is anyone else here a rock eater? If so, any idea how to swallow a giant pond pebble??

* * * TAIL POLL RESULTS ARE IN * * *

Thanks everyone for sharing your tail data! Especially if you woke up from a nap to figure out which way you curl. The results of the experiment couldn't be more (or less?!?) conclusive:

BOY TAILS: 5 lefties / 5 righties
GIRL TAILS: 6 lefties / 6 righties

And then.... there's Bellatrix. Who is a boy AND a girl and curls to the right.

Approx 75% of these tails have single or single-and-then-some curls.

* 2 of the 5 non-pugs have happy tails
* 3 of the 5 non-pugs have pure white tails
* 1 of the 5 non-pugs has a heart shaped spot on his but cheek

CONCLUSION
Humans should pay more attention to the color of our sweaters than the curl of our tails. Pugs should ignore human mistakes and follow Arlo's advice: better to get petted as a she than to be ignored as a he!

TAILS

I know we've talked about humans calling us she when we're a he, or he when we're a really a she. Well, yesterday I got "she'd" again. I had my blue he-sweater on and everything but this guy still thought I was a girl.

When my human gave the guy a look that said "dude, the sweater! look at the sweater!" he didn't even apologize for she-ing me. Nope. He just started talking about my tail.

STRANGER GUY: Someone told me that boy pug tails curl left and girl pug tails curl right.
MY HUMAN: Seriously?
ME [to myself]: Are you high?
STRANGER GUY: Or maybe it's girls to the left, and boys to the right?
MY HUMAN: Uh. No idea. He's a he though.

I've sniffed a lot of pug butts and have never noticed any of this boy/girl tail-curling business. To be honest though, I'm not sure I ever really looked. Could it be true? To find out, let's be scientific and take a poll:

• Are you a he or a she?

• Does your tail curl to the right (clockwise) or left (counterclockwise) when a human looks at you from the front?

• (Optional) Just curious, do you have a single or double curl?

If you're not a pug, that's ok. Just tell us something about your tail (brother Dutch's tail is spotless; his left butt-cheek has a heart-shaped spot on it).

For the record: I am a he and curl to the right. I only have one curl - except when I get tired and then it's more like a half-curl. Kinda like a cheese doodle. But furry.

HELP FOR HOPE

* * * SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT * * *

Hey everybody, sorry for doing this to you but...

I JUST got another email about a pug in need. Serious need. I haven't broken my New Year's Revolution to help needy pugs and will be making a donation... but I haven't become famous yet and can only give so much.

I normally wouldn't ask anyone to hand over their treat money, but if you might have a few extra dollars to spare, read Hope's story. It made me, brother Dutch AND my human cry.

The photo of Hope is very terrible to look at so I made it as small as I could. If you really want to see why I'm here telling you about all this - click on the photo to see a bigger version. But don't say I didn't warn you about the leaking.

Thanks (and sorry for making everyone sad)

Hope has literally been through hell and back in the last few days. Tuesday morning Hope was found abandoned and tied to a local veterinary office. She was in shock from pain, and was barely responsive. They found she had a major eye injury leaving her eye hanging from her socket, infected, bulging, bleeding, and in need of removal before she died from the pain and infection.

If only she could tell us her story. If she could, maybe we could understand or at least try to understand how a pug ends up in the condition she was found in. How could anyone tie a pug who is suffering so badly to a door and drive away?

It is beyond comprehension to us at SNPR [Southern Nevada Pug Rescue]. Even after the hardship cases we have seen, it never gets easier knowing this type of abuse and neglect goes on [...].

At first we were quoted $3,000 dollars to save this little girl and we struggled with the thought of literally depleting our bank account to save her, or letting the vet turn her over to Animal Control which would for sure mean certain death for her.

Needless to say, we rushed over to her and got her to our vet within the hour to get her eye removed and get her on the path to recovery. Although we will receive a huge discount from our wonderful vets, we are still looking at approximately $1,500 - $2,000 to save Hope. Hope needed our help. Therefore, we need your help!

Please consider donating any amount of money you can to help SNPR treat this little pug who has been through so much. All donations are tax deductible. We will post more pictures tomorrow, and an update on how our little fighter does in surgery.

To see more pictures of Hope and to donate if you can.....

http://www.rescuepugs.com/adoptme.htm

HAIKU

Y'know, I just can't stop thinking about Jenny the pug. I've never been in love or had a girlfriend or anything so I don't really know how it works. I mean, if we really do like each other, what's supposed to happen next?

My bud Stubby (the wisest pug I know) said Valentine's Day is coming up and since it's a special-day for love, I should send Jenny something to celebrate. I'm still on the fence about getting her a freeze-dried bullypenis so early in our relationship - but since she liked my last poem, I'm definitely sending more poetry.

Trouble is, writing poetry is kinda hard. Not that hard is bad - I'd do anything for Jenny. It's just that poems are supposed to rhyme and what I want to say doesn't rhyme. And I don't want to say stuff I don't mean. Especially about love. And definitely not to Jenny.

So I asked Google for help.

GOOGLE: Have you tried Haiku?
ME: Hi-what?
GOOGLE: Haiku. It's a non-rhymed verse genre that conveys an image or feeling in three lines. The first line has 5 syllables, the second has 7 syllables and the last line has 5. Haiku should also contain a kigo, a word that represents something seasonal.
ME: Uh. Non-rhymed verse genre? Syllables? Kigo??
GOOGLE: Translation: Nothing has to rhyme. There are only a handful of words. Forget about the kigo, you're a pug.

No rhyming and few words? Sounds like perfect poetry for pugs. I just hope Jenny likes Haiku. What do you think?

My First Haiku

Poems without rhymes
sound like perfect love poems-
at least to this pug.

PUG NIGHT

In case you haven't noticed, me and Brother Dutch pretty much do everything together. We're a team. Like Batman and Robin (I'm Batman) or, uh, PB & J.

Since we're so tight, iit makes me nervous when my human splits us up. Especially because it usually means a trip to the vet. So when she tried to make me go solo the other night, I totally refused to leave the house.

HUMAN: Puglet, c'mon. What's your malfunction?
ME: Are we going to the vet?
HUMAN: It's 8:00 at night. The vet is closed. Let's go.
ME: There are vets that stay open all the time. Like a 7-11.
HUMAN: I promise, no vets.

Well, my human was telling the truth. We didn't go anywhere near the vet.... but we did go to my friend Frank's house.

Holy cowpies, me and Frank had soooo much fun!! It was kinda like Pug Sunday. But on a Thursday. And in someone's living room. We wrestled like Sumos and played tug-of-everything until we couldn't breathe. Then we went for a walk and got us some tasty frozen yogurt.

Good times!

Not only is Frank the coolest, funnest pug ever - he also has the coolest, funnest toy I have ever seen. If you like to chase the Evil Red Dot, you'd go nuts over Frank's flying heli-thingy. I want one so bad.

Check out this video of Frank playing with THE best toy on earth: