Thursday, April 7, 2011


I'm superhappy to have my human's thumbs again (especially since they can make things like cookies, cookie books and Special Day calendars). But you know I'm a huge fan of Plan B, so I was really excited yesterday when I found out my human's phone can turn things you say into typed words.

NO thumbs necessary.

My human loves her Droid phone and says it can do tons of cool things - but speaking Pug probably isn't one of them. She liked the idea of me not depending on her thumbs though, so she let me try it out.

Uhm. Yeah.

Here's how it went:

I said: Hello my name is Puglet.
Droid wrote: Hello my name is eclipse.

Ok, the thing can't even get my name right. Not a good sign.

Me: I like to eat poop. And rocks.
Droid: I like to eat boots and tacos.

Uh, boots and tacos? Hellllo! Who likes to eat boots? And what the heck is a taco?

Me: I love bacon.
Droid: I love sex.

Dumb Droid. Sex? I've never haaad sex - who knows if I even like it. I said baaaaacon!

Me: I can swallow a whole entire hot dog without chewing.
Droid: I can follow a whole entire hot dog without feeling.

Uhm, if I had to follow a hot dog I would totally be feeling. Feeling hungry!

So... it looks like I do need my human's thumbs after all. Or maybe she needs to get over her Steve Jobs issue and get one of those iPhone things instead. Because of everything I said, her dumb Droid only got one sentence 100% right:

Me: I can sing better than Britney Spears.
Droid: I can sing better than Britney Spears.


Barbara said...

Hahahahahahahahaaha! I can't wait until my contract is up so I can get a Droid!!!

Anonymous said...

Don't hate Steve Jobs, anyone who names their company after a food can't be all that bad.

Anonymous said...

Hi Puglet,
Our mom has a Droid, she has all sorts of ringers set up so she knows whose calling, she plays goofy games on the thing so long her eyeballs hurt. We just sit there waiting for the stupid thing to lose battery juice so she pays more attention to us.

Luckily the novelty is starting to wear off, we're getting our old mom back. Oops mom isn't old just to set the record straight.

Sex...huh, we never had that either, does it come with cookies??

Ellie, Emmitt and Eli..TX Pugs

Lola said...

We are Droid lovers in our house! No iphones here! Funny stuff yours hears you saying. I think sex has something to do with that "Stop humping Frank" trick you learned awhile ago...
Lafayette Lola

Kitty+Coco said...

My mom still has a $15 flip phone. We don't know pawsonally about the Droid, but have a friend that loves hers. I think perhaps your Droid has a dirty mind, and might be hard of hearing :)
Our birthdays are June 1 (Kitty the Boston T.), and February 14 (Coco the Pug who loves to eat Poo).

Green Dog Wine said...

LOL this may be my favorite puglet post of all time! the translations just cracked me up! :)

I Love Lucy said...

Bwaa haa haa!
Puglet, you're hilarious!!

Love ya'


Anonymous said...

Soo good!! rsrsrsrs


Anonymous said...

LOL!! Hilarious-Oh my god, Britney spears...too much! Genius

Anonymous said...

Puglet, you would so LOVE taco's if you ever got the chance to taste one!

Emelina & Massimo said...

LOL! You are a comedian, Pug!

Treat Lover said...

Dear Puglet,
Chili and my sides hurt from laughing so much! Your Droid is funny!!! We apparently don't speak Droid, because we don't know much about any of the things your Droid said. Our human has an iPhone, but she doesn't really know how to use it, so I'm sure she wouldn't be able to figure out how to make it talk to us. She probably should have stuck with the Stegosaurus Treat she used to have. Mmm, treats... gotta go!


pugsmom said...

My humom is a little hard of hearing, so some of the things your droid said sound like what my humom hears when people talk to her. snort snort
I didn't know anything about sex until Olita and Dutchy came to live with us. Right away Humom took Dutchy to the vet to get his boy parts removed, but she didn't have the money to get Olita's girl removed? Anyway, the first week, while Dutchy was still healing, he started doing that humping thing and got stuck to Olita. Humom freeeeaked out!!! She called the doctor and he said probably nothing would come of it, but to keep an eye on Olita. Finally Humom said she was relieved, we wouldn't have any little puggies running around, but she sounded sort of sad when she said it. Go figure. There are four of us, three girls and one boy, but now that we are all "fixed" (I didn't know we were broken), Mom just calls, "Come on girls", and we all run to her. snort snort snuffle
Mom can't even figure out how to use a cordless phone, so I don't think we will ever get a chance to see a droid one that talks back.
Phoebe in Oregon

Ollie said...

Too funny, Puglet!
I've never met a droid, my human doesn't even have a data plan. She's heard too many horror stories of carriers charging a gazillion dollars (that's like a mountain of cookies). There was even a consumer tv program that held a national "worst cell phone bill ever" contest.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHA too funny!!! Thanks for the laughs!

Ann, Frodo, Molly & Cleo

Kellee the Caffeinated said...

This had me totally laughing out loud!!!!! hahahahah.

Rambo and Miss Ellie said...

My mom has a droid it dose the same thing. But I didn't know they were all dirty minded....HAHA!!!!

Tiffy said...

I think your human needs to get herself an iPhone because they definitely speak pug. Don't tell Momma but I have been using hers when she's asleep.


SpencerBartholomew said...

This is hilarious! How does Puglet become Eclipse?! I'm glad Thumbs does The Daily Puglet and not Droid!

Suki said...

Hi Pug,

I'm super happy, that you are super happy about your Human's thumbs.

Mom was laughing out loud on the droid translations.

Oh do tell... Who is the golden-eyed-gray-kitty posing by your paw?


THE PUGLET said...

Hi everybody!

I spent the day at the House of Meat and just got home. I was *almost* too tired (or full) to eat dinner. Almost.

I thought about asking my human if I could borrow Droid so I could keep up with the comments, but I didn't want to end up talking about sex and eating boots by mistake. I mean, I couldn't even blame Steve Jobs if that happened.

PS: Sabrina ~ I'm sure your buddy Steve is a totally cool guy, but Jobs is a four letter word around here:

My human says she loses like 100 IQ points any time she goes near anything with an apple on it.

Anonymous said...

sheer genius you are puglet, totally hilarious

Bella said...

Muwah-hahahaha! That was the sound my mom made when she read this post....the was snorting like I do, but it didn't sound nearly as cute. Her Droid-y phone finishes her words for her when she types and some of the mistakes it makes are REALLY funny. Sometimes she forgets to check her spelling before she talks back to you here and end up with some pretty funny words. Stoopid thumbs....
Oh, and she wanted me to tell you that those Apple thingys are a four letter word in our house to. I don't know about that because it looks to me like its a FIVE letter word. (shhhhh.....she's really bad at math, so I won't remind her of that by telling her she can't count.)

Snorts and snarfles,

moPSY+MISIOber said...

ok I read this post yestarday, and I read it again today, it's the same!!!hilarious!!! love you :)

Anonymous said...

Don't worry Puglet - my human's phone doesn't understand her either :-) -- I'm a little slow on telling -- but my birthday is coming up real soon - on April 19 -- and I'll be (a very spunky) 9 years old:-)
-Signed Pugsley in Oak Park

The Daily Toki said...

What a great post. I have an iphone that also likes to complete (or "correct") my typing, and I thought it would be fun to create a translation dictionary for iphone texts. It looks like the Droid dictionary could be even funnier.

THE PUGLET said...

My human said in Droid's defense that it speaks human better than it speaks pug. But she also doesn't say things like 'I like to eat poop'... or 'I love bacon'... so who knows.