FUN FOR ALL

I hope everyone had as good a weekend as I did (here in America it was a long weekend so today is technically a Monday). If you missed yesterday's post, you missed one of the most amazing things I have ever eaten in my whole entire life. No joke, so be sure to check it out (and then beg your people to make it for you).

My human took some crazy pictures of me eating my new #1 favorite eatable, but I'm not supposed to share them until everyone is caught up. I guess it's rude to eat before everyone else gets their food or something? No idea. But I had plenty of other fun over the weekend, so I'll tell you about that instead.

My human is feeling 100% human again, so we got to hang at the beach with the Crazy Labrador Brothers & The Man. Me and Dutch were kinda nuts from being trapped inside all week (the CLB are always nuts) so we ran around in circles for like an hour. Like headless chickens, according to The Man.

I'm pretty sure I broke the land speed record for pugs. You can't really tell from the picture, but I am totally faster than a Labrador.

I am also stronger than a Labrador. Seriously. My human says pound for pound, I am 3x stronger than the Crazy Labrador Brothers. Combined. Me and CLB #2 (Jack) have some, uhm, issues with who's on top and killed two toys trying to figure it out. You can probably guess who won (and it wasn't a Labrador).

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LAST SPECIAL DAY IN MAY

Scamper in Wheaton, Il and Guy Noir celebrate their Whelp Days today + Annie (Reston, VA) was Gotcha'd on this day. I think there's still some PB + Banana + Baaaacon No-Cream in the freezer to help me celebrate...

PB + BANANA + BAAACON NO-CREAM

UGH. Blogger is having some sort of meltdown and that's making my human's gimpy brain explode. But I know a lot of barbeques will be happening and I can't not tell you what I'll be eating later today because you will TOTALLY want to eat it too.

It's supereasy to make, pretty healthy and insanely eatable. Ok. Here goes...

To make PB + Baaaaaaacon + Banana No-Cream you only need three things: PB, Baaaaacaon and a couple of really ripe bananas (and some sort of choppy/blendy/mixy thing).

Have your human cut the bananas into slices, spread them out on a baking sheet and stick them into the freezer. Wait an eternity (or a few hours) for the bananas to freeze, whichever comes first. Don't eat the banana skins while you're waiting. They're NASTY!

When the banana bits are frozen, put them in a choppy or mixy thing and say goodbye. Smash the bejeezus out of them and keep smashing until they look like ice cream (might have to scrape them off the sides a lot).

You can stop there, but why stop there? Today is a holiday so you should get something extra special. Right? Right. So tell your human to add a spoonful of PB and as much bacon as possible. Chop a few more times.

If you can snatch PB off the spoon when your human isn't looking without getting caught, go for it because you might have to wait to eat your No-Cream. You can eat it right away if you like it smushy, but if you want it more ice-creamy, stick it back in the freezer for a few more hours.

We'll be eating our No-Cream later this afternoon. I hope you all get to eat some too!

* * *

SPECIALNESS!

It was Per-Li-Mae's birthday on Saturday (Buford T's sister, in Petaluma, CA) and today it's Daisy the treeing coonhound's Whelp Day. I'll be thinking of you both when I'm eating my No-Cream :P

FFF: Curse of the Golden Chicken

My human says I don't really have to tell the whole story about today's pictures

1) because it's gross
2) you will totally understand what happened
3) words can't explain it any better

Of course Dutch will probably say I'm lying and it never happened, but Nikon tells no lies.

click to biggify

GOLDEN CHICKENS IN OUR KITCHEN!

Thanks to you all, yesterday was much less sucky. Uh, Food Channel?!? It wasn't as cool as actually eating, but way better than sitting around doing nothing AND not eating. And there wasn't really anything for me to bark at so much human didn't get mad at me.

I have NO idea why we don't watch food on TV more often.

The only bad thing about watching food all day is it makes you kinda hungry. Really hungry. I mentioned this to The Man when he called to see if my human was OK and you know what he did? This:

Uh huh. He brought us a Golden Chicken. A real, live Golden Chicken. We had to share it with him, but I love The Man even more than chicken so I was OK with that.

Dutch went so CRAZY over the chicken, he went into the garbage looking for more. My human made The Man put "the stinky carcass full of death bones" in the outside garbage, so all Dutch found was a piece of chicken-scented cardboard.

Good news is, the human-vet just called and the blood they sucked out of my human didn't have Lyme disease in it. Now she can stop taking the pills she's convinced have been making her sick (not making her better) AND I won't get in trouble for bringing ticks home.

Woo hoo!

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IT'S A SPECIAL DAY IN MARYLAND

Happy Gotcha Day Gunnie the fabulous! There's some chicken in our fridge and I'll be eating some for you today :)

WAH & YAY!!!

Ok, before I complain about how much it sucks to be stuck inside with a sick human, I just want to say yay. A great big fat yay.

Because last night when I made my human check to make sure our/your new gallery thing was working, and I saw all of you in there, it made me go yay in a really huge way. LIke this:

YAY!!!!!

But bigger. Seeing so much happiness and love and cuteness all in one place made my human really warm and fuzzy (and a little leaky too - no idea why). It also made her feel way better than anything the stupid people-vet is doing, so mega thanks for that.

My wah isn't as big as my yay, so maybe I'll just skip it. But I'll be thinking of you all today when I'm staring at the stupid TV wishing I was outside. Even though my human's been letting me watch Animal Planet and It's Me or the Dog is a pretty good show, I wasn't born to be a couch pug.

(little wah)

Since I don't have my own thumbs, I haven't been able to talk back to you the past few days. But everyone's comments are totally keeping me company so keep on talking without me. If anyone has a favorite TV show, please let me know. I think I've already seen everything on Animal Planet at least twice :(

DAILY PUGLET TURNS 500 (+1)

I'm really glad no one else's world came to an end. But holy SPAM! I was so confused by the whole Judgment Day/rapture thing that I totally didn't even notice what happened over the weekend.

We turned 500!

Yup. You and me. Us. Together we = 500. And that's just Official Followers. I know there must be another million stealth DP readers out there. Probably more.

And to celebrate you, me & us all being here, the Daily Puglet now has a special new feature called the Friends of Daily Puglet gallery. My human got the idea awhile ago and has been saving it for a special occasion. Like today!

Here's how it works (a lot of you know this already):

1. FIND a picture of your cutest self.

2. NAME (THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT!) Make your human change the name of the file so it is like this:

your name_your location.jpeg (or jpg)

example: Puglet_San Francisco_CA.jpeg

Don't ask me why this is important, but my human says it kinda is.

3. SEND your cuteness to frolic[at]dphoto.com

Your photo will automatically be added to the gallery (takes a few minutes). Don't freak out if your name looks funky or your cute self shows up twice. I'll make sure all that kinda stuff gets cleaned up (it will take more than a few minutes though).

4. VISIT everyone in the gallery & enjoy the cuteness.

Can't wait to see everyone!

* * *

MASSIVE SPECIALNESS
There will LOADS of cookie-eating today. Sammy in MN (hi Sammy!) and Frankie in Michigan had their day on the 22nd. Then yesterday Kaos in Odense, Denmark and Meatball here in the Bay Are celebrated their Whelp Days.

I'll be asking for double cookies sine me missed your actual days :)

WHO'S STILL HERE?

Huh?

Hey everybody! HUGELY sorry I missed you all on Friday. Not sure exactly what my human's malfunction was, but I know she had a fever of like 150 degrees or something and we didn't leave the house from Thursday until yesterday (except for peeing and stuff).

Totally sucks.

I mean, I like snuggling and all, but three whole days of it? Gets kinda boring after awhile. She's feeling much more human now and is going to the human vet this morning (like, uh, NOW) so I think everything is OK.

I'll be back a little later on to wish Whelp Days... but I kinda want to make sure everyone is still here. Things seem OK, but when we finally went outside yesterday, the Judgment Day sign had a new message saying the judgment begins today. No idea what today they mean though because I thought J.D. was on Saturday and yesterday was Sunday.

So confused.

Being stuck in side for 3 days completely sucked, but the world totally didn't end for me or anything. But I guess that doesn't mean the world didn't end in other parts of the, uh, world though. Right?

So if you're still here, please let everyone know that your part of the world is still here too.

EVIL PLANT

Foxtail in the face.

I forgot to tell you about the other new and totally not-eatable thing I found during the cow hike: foxtails.

I never knew a plant could be evil, but Foxtails are completely evil. Not as evil as, say, rattlesnakes in Texas - but for a plant they're pretty nasty. Foxtails can get up your nose and in your ears and can bury into your skin.

Evil, right?

In the beginning of our hike we ran into another pug who just had one removed from his face. The whole side of his face was shaved and there was a great big cut from where the vet sliced him open. Not cool.

Seeing that poor pug's face made my human extra-paranoid about the foxtails so I got carried a lot during our hike. It was kinda cool to see things other than Dutch's butt, but I hate being carried around. I'm also kinda wondering if that's why no one would let me eat from the aid station table... y'know, because I didn't workout hard enough.

Dumb plants.

Do you have evil things like foxtails and rattlesnakes lurking around where you live? My human never saw a foxtail until she moved here, so please let everyone know about the weird stuff in your hood that wants to hurt you. Just in case your humans don't know about it.

* * *

SPECIALNESS!
Lots of cookies and a Happy Whelp Day to Toby Moses :)

EATABLE? NOT EATABLE!

So, after a ridiculously long time of no-hiking we finally got to visit the cows again. I guess the T-1 cow family has been busy because there were a TON of baby cows. Baby cows = baby cow poop and baby cow poop = suuuupertasty so I guess it was almost worth waiting for.

There were also a few new surprises on the old hike. Like this thing:

I thought it was poop so of course I tried to eat it. And of course my human yelled at me not to. Noooooo! Not eatable! She said. I pretended not to hear her and took a small taste.

WHOA. The poop was nasty and slimy and it MOVED when I tried to eat it. Yeah. It moved. No idea. Kinda freaked me out.

Not eatable!

I've never seen poop move before and didn't want to ask me human about it because then I'd get in trouble for not listening. I just moved on and acted like the poop didn't move and I didn't try to eat it.

Anyway. Y'know that thing people say about good things coming to those who wait? Well, a few minutes after I found the moving poop, we found this:

Eatable?

Yes. An entire table full of food. Just sitting there in the middle of the trail, full of all sorts of eatables. Seriously. You can ask Dutch - I'm totally telling the truth. My human said it was an "aid-station" for some 10k/half marathon thing that was happening. I tried to look like I needed aid but she said no, definitely NOT eatable.

* * *

SPECIAL DAY!
Happy Whelp Day to Latte! Wherever you are Latte, I'll be eating a cookie for you today.

THE REAL WHOLE TRUTH

Uhm, yeah. I don't want to get into a whole he said, he said thing with Dutch - but when he told about about favorite toy #2, he conveniently left some stuff out too.

Like how I can totally fit his dumb molecule ball in my mouth when it's not coming at me at 100 miles an hour.

And how Dutch is still totally afraid of me stealing it away from him.

AND how the day my human took that picture of me getting hit in the face, Dutch ran into a rock staircase chasing after the molecule ball and smacked his face so hard his tongue almost bled to death.

I won't go into details about that last one because my human says that would be mean... but since we're telling the whole truth and everything, here's another truth you might want to know about: Dutch sucks at supermodeling.

Superfreak vs. Supermodel

Seriously. See these pictures? Well, it took my human like 2 seconds to take mine and like five minutes to take Dutch's. All she needed was a picture of his foot on a book for some poster and he totally freaked out. She wasn't even pointing the camera at his face or anything and he still freaked. He said Nikon makes some crazy-scary bzzzzz sound.

Whatever.

I might get hit in the face by giant flying toys sometimes, but at least I'm not a Freak!

* * *

SPECIAL KITTY DAY!
Happy Whelp (or whatever it's called for cats) Day to Ernest Merriweather Picklebottom the 3rd (aka by me as Ernest MP3). I told my human kitty birthdays should = 2 cookies because they are kinda rare here on the DP. She just laughed.

THE TRUTH, WHOLE TRUTH & NOTHING BUT

Hello everybody, Dutch here. I think you all know by now that Pug doesn't always tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. He didn't about camping. Or being brave. Or grocery stores. And most recently, about fights over my favorite toys.

Unlike Pug, I do tell the truth. And I want you all to know that when a certain someone told you about always winning The Battle of Henrietta, that certain someone conveniently failed to mention I also have a #2 favorite toy... and what happens when he tries to steal it.

Meet favorite toy #2: the Molecule Ball. This is what happens when Pug tries to steal it from me. I think the picture speaks for itself.

* * *

SPECIAL DAY
Happy Whelp Day to Lily Pai in San Diego, CA :)

The Battle of Henrietta

Hey everybody! No idea what Blogger's malfunction is. First you couldn't comment, then I couldn't blog. Not cool Blogger. But I think everything is better (or getting better?) now because I'm back.

Anyway.

We haven't had a Freeze Frame Friday in awhile, so today I want to show you one of my favorite games to play with Dutch. It's called steal the toy. Dutch's #1 favorite toy is Henrietta the rubber chicken, so of course that's my favorite toy to steal.

Let the battle begin....

Dutch might be 3 times bigger than me but I am a million times less wimpy. I totally always win. ALWAYS.

See you Monday!

* * *

DAILY SPECIALNESS!
Today we all get to eat two bunches of cookies. One for Boomer in Grand Rapids, MI and one for James in Ontario (that's Canada, the place with all the Beagles).

TOMORROW IS SPECIAL TOO
Emma in Oak Park, IL and Rucker will be celebrating their Whelp Day tomorrow, so be sure to beg for cookies in their honor.

FUNNY + ENTERTAINING + CUTE

First the world was maybe coming to an end. Then some dumb postal jerk hijacked my package. And then our new friend Zoe down in Texas got bit in the face by a freaking rattlesnake. Been kind of a heavy week.

And it's only Wednesday.

Since the whole idea of the D.P. is to make people happy, my human suggested I do something funny or entertaining or cute today to make the rest of the week better... I thought it would be better to be funny AND entertaining AND cute, all at the same time.

* * *

MUCH SPECIALNESS

Happy Gotcha Day Scarlet & Whelp Day to Chewie in Minnesota. My human said I can't have any cookies because I ate so much tree stump bread, so I guess I ate bread in honor of your day (it was buttered!)

SOOO PO'd

If you read my post on how to take on a mountain lion, you know the face I'm making is supposed to be menacing.

Yes, menacing. As in mad and not afraid to do something about it. And not because I won't get to spend the next 11 days eating anything I want (72% of you say there will be a May 22nd). No. I'm menacing because some jerk at the Post Office (who must be related to that WHENCE lady) did something really uncool.

Y'see, when Dutch's new special drugs to stop the mysterious scratching made him stop eating, my human stopped giving them to him. She didn't want a whole brand new bottle of drugs to go to waste, so she found someone who could use them. Someone like Payton in Illinois.

Payton has PDE (Pug Dog Encephalitis) and needs special drugs to stop seizures. No idea how my human knows this stuff, but somehow she knew that Dutch's no-scratch drug and Payton's no-seizure drug are the same thing. So she packed up the drugs so they wouldn't look or sound like drugs and sent them off to Payton.

What happened to my drugs?

A few days later we got a thank you email from Payton & her people. Well, sort of. It was more like a good news, bad news email. Apparently on the way to Illinois, our package mysteriously opened up and spit out the drugs.

Not the note inside from me -- just the drugs.

This was not an accident people. I saw the envelope and it's totally obvious that some postal jerk opened it up STOLE Payton's brain drugs. I mean, why would anyone want dog brain drugs??

Sorry to be all menacing, but I just want you and Karma and the rest of the internet to know what happened. I'm sure the postal people are mostly completely cool and honest, but if the postal jerk who stole the drugs is reading this...

You see the look on Payton's face? That's the look of a pug who just had her brain drugs stolen.

* * *

JUJU S.O.S.
A friend of the Three E's needs some superserious good juju. Her name is Zoe and yesterday she got bit IN THE FACE by a rattlesnake. Yes, a snake! Not so good. She was taken to the hospital to get anti-venom and I'm hoping she's doing much better today. Zoe, our juju is with you!

IT'S SPECIAL IN CANADA
Maxwell (another Canadian beagle) from Prince George, BC is celebrating his whelp day today... and I'll be eating a fresh PB + Banana + Baaacon cookie to celebrate with him. Happy WD Maxwell!

12 DAYS LEFT?

So, the no sex/politics/religion rule usually isn't hard not to break. No boy parts = no sex, dogs aren't allowed to vote so I don't care about politics and Google says unless I'm a cow and live in a place like India, I have no soul. Or something like that.

But lately I've been seeing these giant signs around San Francisco (see above). I didn't really know what they meant until I heard the radio talking about them. It's really confusing and hard to explain, but I guess the world might be ending on May 21st (6pm your local time) and religion has something to do with it.

Now, I don't want to break any rules. Especially since my human says talking about religion can make people upset and Google says that's how Holy Wars start. But if the world really is going to end on May 21st, I want to know it.

Like, now.

Because if I only have 12 days left on earth, I want to spend those 12 days eating all the things on earth my human doesn't usually let me eat. Like hotdogs and SPAM and golden chickens and Milo's fake "meat"balls and stuff. I don't really want the world to end, but I really do like food.

I put in a poll so it looks like I'm kinda following the rules. And because of the Holy War thing. So tell me what you think...

Will there be a May 22nd?

PS: I was going to keep the comments turned off today, but I like hearing from you and don't believe in silencing the masses... so I talked my human into turning them back on. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE speak with your vote and DON'T say A THING about the end of the world or my human will kill me.

* * *

TODAY IS NOT SPECIAL
But Saturday was! Happy Whelp Day to Scout in Wheaton, IL (I already ate 4 cookies and half a hotdog in honor of your day).

#56!

Practice makes famous.

I'm glad my famousness was able to score someone a six cow-part snack. According to The Randomizer, the lucky someone is commentor #56. I'm not 100% sure my gimpy-brained human can count all the way to 56 without making a mistake, so I guess that just makes picking a winner super random but...

Congratulations #56: Coco/aka Treat Lover
(how crazy is that!?)!!

Send me an email dailypuglet[at]gmail[.]com with all your info so we can tell the postal people where to deliver the Stella & Chewys.

And for the other 74 commentors, I'll try to get even more famous so I can score more snacks. Oh! And if you live near a park (and are in America) the Nutro people are doing this cool national dog park cleanup thing tomorrow and will be giving out free snacks and stuff.

You can look for a park near you & get all the info on the Nutro facebook page.

* * *

TODAY IS A SPECIAL CANDIAN SPECIAL DAY
Much happiness to Ollie the beagle in Toronto and Barney the labrador in Ottowa!

Google says there's this thing called an exchange rate so Canadian cookies and American cookies are not equal or something? So just to be safe, I'll eat a whole bunch of cookies for you both :)

FAME FOR ME = FOOD FOR YOU

So I was at our local Pet Food Express yesterday stocking up on bully penis when I heard someone say "Is that Puglet?". I didn't know the guy who said it, but he totally knew me. Said he read The Daily Puglet in a newspaper called Bay Woof and recognized me from the article.

Cool.

I haven't felt famous since last year's Green Pug video and the extra attention felt really really good. It felt even better when the lady behind the counter asked if she could have my pawtograph.

Heck yeah! Famous.

Humans go kinda nuts over famous people, so I thought maybe I could use my fame to do something good. Y'know, like score some free snacks for friends. So I asked if I could please have something edible to give away here on the DP. Y'know, give back to everyone who helped make me a star.

(That's you)

The nice Pet Food Express man said yes and picked out some awesome low-fat, breath freshening treats (perfect for pugs). But the ingredient list wasn't very Food Revolutionary so I hunted around for something a little more... real.

It was kinda tough to find something that everyone here can eat (including the kitties), but I think Stella & Chewy's are eatable for everyone. They have about six different kinds of cow in them and are crazy tasty. INSANELY tasty.

I'm not famous enough (yet) to score more than one bag of free snacks, so I'll let The Randomizer pick which lucky someone gets to get them.

Please remember to follow the Random rules:

* one comment each so my human doesn't have to do any counting
* if you're anonymous, say your name in your comment
* comments close TONIGHT at 2am San Francisco time
* come back tomorrow to see who won

I'll totally be reading all your comments, but won't talk back until tomorrow so The Randomizer doesn't get confused.

PS: I totally forgot to check the calendar (thanks Phoebe & Zoey :)

* * *

Thanks to Buddy in Houston, Texas and Marty in Webster, New York TODAY IS DOUBLE SPECIAL. Happy Whelp Day guys!

SOY GRIT?

So, I guess not everyone likes the Jamie Oliver guy or his revolution. And if you don't really like eating healthy stuff, and don't want some goofy dude telling you what not to eat - that's cool, I get it.

But here's the thing. When I eat poop, I know I'm eating 100% real poop. I know SPAM is 100% SPAM. And if I ever got lucky enough to eat a hamburger, I'd want it to be 100% hamburger and 0% Pink Slime.

My human says a lot of food out there isn't 100% real anything. And I'm pretty sure that's what the Food Revolution is about: keeping it real. Since the people at ABC put Dancing with the Fools on TV last night instead of Jamie Oliver, I decided to have my own Food Revolution with a bag of chicken meatballs from Milo's Kitchen.

Milo's 100% REAL "Meat"balls

Uhm, yeah. You'd think meatballs = balls of meat, right? Wrong. Here's what Milo put in my meatballs:

Chicken, Soy Grits, Beef, Sugar, Glycerine, Textured Vegetable Protein, Salt, Monoglyceride, Garlic Powder, Natural Flavor, Sorbic Acid (used as a preservative), BHA (used as a preservative), Onion Extract.

I'm glad there isn't any Pink Slime in my meatballs, but some of the other stuff sounds kinda suspicious. Soy Grits? Textured Vegetable Protein? What the ??

The Milo's Kitchen website says I "deserve 100% real, tender, home-style chicken meatballs" so I thought I'd be eating 100% MEATballs, not Textured Vegetable Soy Grit & some meat Balls.

Google says Soy Grits are a "meat filler". Ditto for the T.V.P. Neither of them are going to kill me or anything, but lots of dogs are allergic to soy and I'm pretty sure soy isn't meat. My human let me try some of her TVP stuff and there's definitely no meat in there.

I have no idea what Monoglyceride is, but Google says it can be made from cow, hog or vegetable (I hope Milo uses the cow or hog kind at least). Don't ask me what the heck Glycerine is. Sugar doesn't really need to in dog snacks and neither does the onion because dogs and onions are a bad combo. My human says since onion is the last ingredient, there's not enough of it to hurt me. But why even put it in there?

Now, you know I'll eat anything. And I'm sure Milo's Meatballs will go down like a hotdog, but I asked The Man not to buy them for me again. Because when someone (ahem, Milo) says they're giving me a 100% real, tender, home-style chicken meatball - I want it to be a 100% real, tender, home-style chicken meatball. Not a some-meat ball with a bunch of other junk thrown in there.

Y'know?